I'm just a slightly awkward kid doing what I can to fulfill my dream of being a dairy queen manager. I answer everything privately!

When I got robbed

Its story time again. Ok so when I was like 9 I lived in central Philly. One summer night I woke up and I was hungry as shit, so I remembered we had this 12 piece bucket of KFC so I was like let me go indulge in that. So I went down the hallway and didn’t want to turn on the lights cause I thought my parents would wake up and catch me being a hungry nigga. So I get to the kitchen and turn the corner and there’s this 6ft man in a ski mask standing there. I guess he climbed through the window. I’m like half asleep mind you, and the only thing on my mind is the damn chicken! The problem is, he was standing in between me and the counter where the bucket of chicken was. So now I’m like “OK, I have to be strategic here”. So I’m like maybe if I run through his legs I can grab the chicken and escape. But then I thought he’s just going to capture me so I was like let me do a trial first. So I did a lunging motion and attemped to snatch the chicken, but he just stared at me like “Bitch, really?” So i was like damn, I failed. Then he realized he wasted 5 minutes having a stare off with a little kid so he bucked at me and yelled “Flee bitch” and best believe my ass did. I was like “Fuck that chicken, it can wait till tomorrow.” and I went back to sleep. The next morning I woke up and our TV was gone and so wasalot of our shit. The police were there and I had to tell my parents and the police what I saw. My parents proceeded to spank me after the cops left for being dumb. So I was crying and then to make matters worse, the chicken wasn’t even there because the thief took that too smh. So I was beaten and chicken-less. 

Moral of the story: I almost got killed cause the nigga in me wanted some fried chicken.

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